What do you do when you feel like living how most people live and want to be a part of the world but you cant?

it's like im looking at the world trough a glass. running from all my negative thoughts. i want to live how and where most people live.......but i just cant. my panic attacks are holding me hostage. ( if i try to tell anybody certion things of how i feel i will have a panic attack it just cant come out) what is wrong with me? i have no idea. im going trough some weird thing that somebody has once called a ( crisis) it's like i have been born all over again. when i try to talk to people and relate they just ( dis appear) nothing seems real to me. if i try to not stress i will eventually end up stressing twice as bad causing panic attacks. i feel traped and this isn't the normal depression i've once felt. this is weird. help? it feels like i have a small mind. only a small amount of things happen in it. and NO saying things like ( go out and have fun) doesn't work. that's my whole problem everything just feels fake a nd i hate the area im at right now. could i have a brain problem and need a scan?